Dating Advice

Just a few little tidbits of advice for those of you who may be thinking of getting involved in a new relationship with a "significant other". Much of this has been borne out of experience and the school of hard knocks. Hope it helps...

If you're "interested" in this person, the first thing out of your mouth should be "Are you born-again?" If that is a negative, or they give you a quizical "I don't know what you mean?" look, then ALL STOP!!

Remember, if your new relationship isn't helping you know or serve God better, then that should be your first clue that it isn't in His Will.

When you're out on a date, are you being you? Or, are you trying to be something other than you, for them? Do you feel comfortable, welcome, respected for who you are and what you believe? Or, are you constantly being challenged to be something else, or think another way? And if you're being challenged, is it a challenge to know God more and deeper, to serve Him more fully?

Don't even remotely consider getting "serious" until you know how serious they are about following Christ.

Avoid physical affection and any talk involving sexual matters. This will only cloud your vision and deafen your ears to the Holy Spirit. Keep it pure and keep it focused on spiritual matters.

Ask them what their favorite books, movies, songs and artists are...what were the most significant or moving events they've experienced? This can give you a clue as to what their interests and motivations are.

Bring them on dates with your good and close friends. How do they react around them? Are they accepting or critical? Of course, this is assuming those close friends are also Godly friends. If they're not, then your new significant other may be speaking God's truth to you about them. Again...listen up!

Discern the spirit of your new friend...pray for a word of wisdom or knowledge about this new relationship and LISTEN for the answer.

Ask them to pray with you and listen to their prayers...they can say a lot about someones level of maturity in Christ.

Take them on a "date" to the local soup kitchen and watch how they move around and react to those your serving.

Ask them about their parents...are they believers, where are they from, how is their relationship with their parents. Great clues here on their foundational training in spiritual matters and a hint, perhaps, of any "other" spiritual attachments that might be present.

Bring them to visit with your parents (or a more mature friend/leader if your parents are not available). Then, after they are gone, ask your parents or leader for their honest feedback....and listen!

Before you share your personal call/vision from God, ask them about their calling...where do they see God leading them? Is it the same or a similar calling/direction as your's? Its important to ask before you share, lest they simply parrot your description to appease you.

Pray...pour yourself into His service...He'll bring someone "alongside", moving in the same direction...same speed...same vision.

It can and should happen naturally via His supernatural providence. Don't try to force it and end up moving ahead of the Holy Spirit and out from under His grace.

God bless you in all your relationships!